Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Best gift



At first I am scared to reach the age of above 20.
I’ll be officially 21 years old hours from now but it seems
that I am not even excited at all.
I search the net using this question “Why 21st birthday is important”
because it is so awkward that I am not even a bit excited,
anticipated nor enthusiastic about it.

I also search for the best gifts to receive, ha-ha.
I know what is the best gift to receive during birthdays that is – the gift of life.
I am so thankful for that to our dearest God and to all the saints in the world.
I can feel God is with me especially during bad times.
I can even appreciate God’s mysterious ways to make us realize Him.
Raining, for me, is God’s way of showing His sadness for the bad things that happened.
There are times when I feel that after having such an awful event, raining occurs.
That way I can feel how God is so sad for the expected or
unexpected turn of event into a bad, dark one.
For that I love Him, not only because I can feel Him but for His existence in my heart.
Even if the shadow of my past sorrows wasn’t totally erased,
I know that deep inside me reside the full-bloomed overflowing love for God.
And I know for the fact that the best gift is Life.

But I asked for more gifts from God because I know that the gift
would help me experience life at its fullest, make me stronger and independent,
gain some wisdom through travel, share my innermost thoughts, love people,
enjoy life outside my comfort zone and the greatest reason of all,
not that I want to be sound so dramatic but I want to complete my life,
a life with my mother.
Psychologically speaking I am an incomplete person because
I desire to experience life with a mother beside me.

But thank God I am not a weak person. I guess I am EQ high and IQ average.
I also have a strong soul to survive every problem that would eventually arise.
I also take the role of Big sister in the family he-he.
Exhausting yet fulfilling.

Today I am looking forward for tomorrow not because I can sense that joy and happiness
would prevail over the scared age-conscious me.

Gracias for reading my post. Bear with me coz I’m turning 21!

Gotta go to school now.. adios!

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